AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS

I haven’t talked to my son for over four months thinking he was dead because the last time I’d heard he was selling crack and had dropped out of school, living on the streets and what not and because he hadn’t been answering his phone. Only to find out LAST NIGHT after trying to call it one last time, I broke no contact and I finally text his father (the narcissist) to ask if he’d turned our sons off and he said yes because he was tired of our son losing his phone.

I asked if our son was safe and off the streets. He says yes, and that our son was sitting right there. !!!😮 I’m fucking FURIOUS right now. All these months neither of them have bothered to contact me. I told my husband to tell our son that I’d been worried and to tell him that I loved him. There was no reply. So I text back and asked, “did you tell him?” He says, “yes” but I don’t know if that was a lie or not because that was the last thing he said. 😠😞😢

He never text back and I was afraid to start shit or he would have really ignored me. He does that on purpose to piss me off and it works.

I’m so depressed, sad and crying right now. Why doesn’t my son love me? What did I do wrong?

Push

I push people away

And I don’t care

I’m flawed

Therefore I’ll find something

Just as flawed in you

So I have an excuse

To run like hell

Don’t try to be my friend

Don’t try to offer a hand

I don’t want your sympathy

That’s not what friendship

is to me

Don’t talk to me like

I’m a senseless fool

I have a strong mind

I was born with this tool

Don’t try to tell me

what I should and could do

If I haven’t asked for your

advice

You’ll soon be removed

That’s what’s I do

I push

©she