TOUGH LOVE?

051091732aa551302891d377321ec2d9eb0d7-wmI arrived on Monday and had him packed and on a plane to a Mississippi Rehab by Thursday afternoon. I really thought I’d gotten through to him. I really did. I guess I hadn’t realized that those who are on drugs that bad would be that good at manipulating because once in rehab, that’s when he started acting a fool. He signed his RAI, Release of Information over to his brother. Well, he doesn’t have a brother. We found out 8 days later that who he meant was the buddy that he does drugs with!! Me nor his father couldn’t find out anything about our son. Everytime we would call the facility they’d say that they couldn’t give us any information, not even whether he was even there or not!

Finally on the 8th day, this truck pulls up in my husband’s drive way and this scrawny white kid steps out. He rings the doorbell and says that the facility called him asking for more info on my son and that he couldn’t give it because he wasn’t his brother and didn’t understand why our son would even put him down. See, this is our son being clever. He was up to something. Not a days later, I get a call from my son telling me that he was coming home because of “insurance reasons.” Then a day later someone else calls and says that they were going to be putting our son on a bus home because he decided to exit himself.

He had on been there 10 fucking days!! The program was for 30 to 60 days!! 😑😑😑😑 So, yeh, our son knew exactly what he was doing. He tricked us because as soon as he got off the bus, (which he texted us to come pick him up from the bus station 45 min away at midnight), he actually arrived at 9 pm where he immediatly called his “brother ol’ buddy ol’ pal” and went and got high again!! 😑😑

Another week after that, his father and I had had enough of our sons continued disrespect of smoking in the house, using in the house, keeping is room NASTY, continuing to go get high with his buddy then returning paranoid, pacing around, stealing the oddest things (lotions) and lying about the most trivial things, his father told him to leave and don’t come back.

That was on a rainy cold night and it was killing me inside to know that he had been texting his father and I all night asking to be let back in. His father said no, but tough love has to be enforced.

It’s December 10, 2018 I’m leaving tomorrow. I texted my son, “I love you. Take care of yourself.” He responded, “I will. I love you too. Turn the data back on my phone.”

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The Visit

I came down to Texas to visit a month ago. My ticket was bought by my husband, (were not divorced yet). It was an emergency to try and see if we could both convince our son to go to rehab for a meth addiction. An addiction which began when Rob and my son first moved back to East Texas almost two years ago.

I’d already been told by Rob’s cousin that Van, (a small town 20 min down the road from where he and my son were moving back to) was one big meth house so to speak, which was the reason why she moved her kids out of that town. I could have told Rob this if he had only listened to me. He instead being his narcissistic ass, decided to take on the role of both parents chose to not didnt care no matter I said or warned him about. I hadn’t mattered anymore. Instead I got the full fledged invisible, silent treatment and dismissal treatment.

This is also when I’d had 16 years enough of it, packed up my shit and left at the end of 2015. December 31, 2015 to be exact.

Which brings us to the present. The son that I love to death, the son who had began treating me disrespectfully like shit who also chose to move back with his father and who also chose not to see me off as I packed my small U-Haul up and drove by myself up to Iowa, is now a 10 grade high school drop out is now strongly addicted to Meth.

My therapist tells me that this is not my fault that it turned out like this, but it sure feels like it.

Narcissistic Mother

32 times. This is how many times this month my mother has called me while I’m here in Texas for the month trying to get my son into rehab. I told her I was down here taking care of some business and not to call me (dealing with this is stressful enough πŸ˜₯) but does she listen, NO. Crazy bat!

Time to turn over a new leaf

I have nothing to complain and bitch about. Can you believe it? I’m separated from my husband going on almost two years, I am not in any relationships and my life is HAPPIER! I have no drama someone stressing me out because they don’t love or is treating me terribly. I am so happy to be free of all that shit. Being single is all I have ever wanted and I’m enjoying it. No one to answer to. No one to try and keep happy, but myself. No one to worry about, but myself. I am complete without needing someone to complete me.Β static1.squarespace

Don’t cry for me Argentina

“Don’t Cry For Me Argentina”

Sometimes I just want to STFU
because no matter what I say
everyone else seems to think
that I’m wallowing in self-pity!!

“Don’t Cry For Me Argentina”
I don’t want to see this bullshit
πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯
UNDER EVERY COMMENT THAT
I MAKE
or when I’m simply expressing
myself or telling you the story
of my past because that’s where
it is IN MY PAST where it’s going
to stay

“Don’t cry for me Argentina”
Does it make YOU feel good
to tell “little ol me” that YOU
feel sorry for me? πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„
Heck, I’m good. Trust me.
I’m better now. I’m free. I’m not where I used to be.

Β©she
October 10, 2018