So I finally leave my mentally and emotionally narcissistic husband two weeks ago. My brother and his girlfriend finally convinced me to return to my home state and be with my family “the people who truly cared and loved me” he said. Where there’d be “love and laughter amongst family” in their home he said.

So I’m set up in their daughters room until I can find a place to live. Well, I never leave my room.
Firstly, because I have social anxiety. And secondly is because the first night I was here my brother and I had it out because apparently I didn’t know he didn’t like being approached and bothered immediately when he got off of work, so he snapped at me when I went to hug him. And when I called him on it by telling him I didn’t appreciate being treated like that he got even more pissed. Apparently later on he told his girlfriend that “EITHER I GO OR HE GOES.”

In addition to this incident my brother’s been drunk, irritable, agitated and just has an attitude about everything anyone does. So this “love, communication and laughter” I was promised, has left me once again depressed and lonely.

So, after a few days go by his girlfriend pops her head into my room and asks why I always stay in it. I just made up some excuse and told her that I sorta wanted to collect my thoughts and figure out my next move.

She says to me “Well, we just think it’s kinda weird.”
I look at her like weird!?
OMG, I about snapped. “Oh so it’s my fault that you two fight all the time and I have to walk on eggshells!?”

Anyway, I’ve been coming out of my room, only to be, what feels like, I’m being ignored regardless of what I do. She doesn’t speak to me and neither does he.

See, this is why I can’t stand peole. Instead I’d rather stay in my room and write poetry while listening to them laugh and joke after they’ve gotten high.

© she
January 15, 2017
Artwork by Spagheth