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WILLINGLY

I went from an 18 year  narcissistic abuse marriage which I was finally free of. Then guess what happened? I fled  straight into the loving arms another one awaiting my weakened heart. 

I tried to have boundries at first, but this new person treated me so unlike the first and gave me the love my first narcissist never had. I was so charmed by them that I was blinded by love. 
Well, anyway the second narc , of course wore a mask. But, by then I was in love. Head over hills. I’m ashamed and embarrassed because I’d been one of those advocates for victims of nacissistic abuse, but I just allowed myself to fall. Have any of you done this as well? Allow yourself to WILLINGLY fall regardless of what you already knew because you fell in love too soon?

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7 thoughts on “WILLINGLY

  1. I can say that my fiance at the time was a narcissist. As me being so desperate for care and affection I would over-look all the signs and choose just to be with him. I’m thankful for that experience since now I can see what a terrible thing is to feel needy for affection and allow that sort of abusive behavior.

    It took a lot of meditation, in my self to finally accept me as a woman, and give myself value and self love…

    It takes time to heal from such traumatic relationships, stay strong and love yourself before you go into a relationship.

    PS Also I live with a narcissist mother… And that one is really difficult to deal with…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Removing Blocks. Here too, my mom is a Narcissist as well and I have no probles going no contact with her but when it comes to this person, I think I’m addicted! I am willing to endure much more than I did from my first narcisstic relationship. What the hell is wrong with me? Am I THAT desperate? I mean they went off on me just last night using all the hit below the belt narcissistic traits that we’re textbook and at the time what they said hurt, but I had to remind myself that what they were saying wasn’t true about me and that they were projecting thier anger. I mean they were just going at (belittling me, calling me crazy, mentally insane, etc) me. Blaming me for thier new problem. Which I know I’m not supposed to let become my problem and clearly they were trying to manipulate me, but I was so close to giving in. I still want to because no matter what I feel to blame and I still love them.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes! They make you feel like you need them, it’s a vicious cycle! They manipulate you and also, if you say NO to them, they make you feel like you are the bad one. It’s addictive.
    If I may say, that is not love… Love is trust, is kind, is respect above the person you love… You have to set boundaries, you know they make you feel bad and sad. You don’t hurt the person you love. Please love yourself, get your self esteem high, set boundaries, motivate yourself. You can do it! They are not healthy for you.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This is my greatest fear for myself if I ever leave my husband. I don’t know why we do things like this. It’s as much of a problem as the narc themselves. You are worth better. Maybe you are just feeling uncomfortable and falling back on what is familiar because the latter feels too scary to try? What you are experiencing again is not love. We can’t accept it for the little time it feels good. We are worth love all the other times too.

    Liked by 1 person

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