I’m still here

I’m still here

I’m still around

After a year

Just now settling

down

It’s feels great

not to need

anyone

© she

Jan 23, 2018

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METAMORPHOSIS of NARCISSUS

That’s the name of this painting by Salvador Dali. 

I bought this painting in 2001 off a truck selling framed paintings in front of our first newly built house…

I love art, which is why I bought it…

How ironic is was and is that my husband, after 14 years of marriage finally I realized he was a covert narcissist himself…And it’s taken me an additional 3 years since that discovery to educate myself on this monstrous personality to know who and what I was dealing with….

Now after 17 long miserable years, after years and years of waiting and thinking that I was doing the right thing by our only son who is finally 17, I can leave him

I’m packing, and I rediscovered this old dusty, stored away painting… Metamorphosis of Narcissus by Salvador Dali….

Should I take it with me or should I burn it…

HESITANCE

HESITANCE

she steps forward
and then steps back is the
victim afraid to tear away from
the one who’s defeated
her the ones who’s exhausted
her like a lifeline
tied to the lifeless having
endured a lifetime
of this abusive syndrome

© she
December 19, 2016

RUNAWAY

RUNAWAY

If the sun ran away and hid behind
the moon I wouldn’t
blame him at all Anywhere but here is
better than staying where
it’s future is bound to be doomed Unsure
if concern, relief or envy
is the emotion I should be feeling right
now Either way he’s
free of captivity on day three

© she
December 11, 2016

I WAS FREE, BUT NOT FREE

I WAS FREE, BUT NOT FREE

It was the emancipation that lead me to cut the weight off my shoulders
having been unable to do it before and the stylist kept cutting as I watched
it all
fall

to

the

floor

And for months I was literally free
environmentally attached to no one there was only me

Just me and this invisible weight an invisible
tug of gravitational hate like and anchor not allowing me to get my life
straight

I was free, but NOT free unconsciously
controlled by own mind mentally linking myself to a person I despised
and he was lov’n every minute of it

So I was free, but NOT free

© she
November 26, 2016