INTUITION

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REUNITED

REUNITED

Once I let go of you

my son came back

to me It was somehow

as if it were meant to

be A hope and fruition

that happened ironically

When all this time you

had no power over me

The banishing of your

toxicity His blood was thicker

than the water you

gave me

© she
August 24, 2017
#toxicpeople #reunited #children #separation

NOTE TO SELF: BREAK THE CYCLE

NOTE TO SELF: BREAK THE CYCLE

You know who’s gotta end this right?
YOU do
YOU’VE got to break the cycle
of contacting them
Block them
Don’t contact them
Shit, cut your fucking fingers off
to keep from texting them
Dialing them
or writing them poems
Gouge your eyeballs out
to keep from stalking them
Slice your tonque off to keep from
speaking about them
Remove thier cancerous cells from your
brain so that you can recover
a healtier life again
Stab your own self
in the heart to prevent them
from doing it themselves
Charter a flight to a deserted island
separating yourself from the rest of the
world with no means of communication
as a sort of drug rehabilitation
Whatever you have to do YOU must
break the cycle
or you may as well kill yourself

But ask yourself this first….
Are they really worth any of the
terrible things that you would have to
do to get them off your mind?
And would they do the same for you???

© she
August 7, 2017
#them #him #her #love #heartache

YOU’RE SELFISH…

Once again I put myself out there like a dumb ass fool to an ex girlfriend of mine (a narcissist)

This is what I texted:

“I need someone to love me full time. Not just when they feel like it. I need someone who thinks about me all the time, not just on occasion. I need someone who calls and text me and makes me feel as if I’m important to them. I deserve more attention than you’re willing to give. And when and if you’re willing to give love, you gotta prove it.”

And this was her response left on my voicemail:

“You’re selfish.”

(along with a few other harsh words)

Fuck it!

YOUR SICKNESS

YOUR SICKNESS

Being there
unconditionally for you,
but you never for me
stresses me to the core,
but hurts me even more
This is one reason
we can’t be together
Your sickness is why
it can’t get any better
Now I’ve gotta build this wall
and build it so tall
That even others can’t climb
As a result of the fragments
you’ve left behind

© she
July 30, 2017

#narcissism #love #heartache

SAY’IN WHAT I WON’T DO

SAY’IN WHAT I WON’T DO

Get outta my head get
off my mind my thoughts
of you are making me
blind to the fact that it
was you who destroyed
me in the first place I’m
start’in to forget why
and what or if I’m
making a mistake

You’re always front’in
on someone but never
think about the damage
you’ve done to me when
sometimes your actions
are so much more than
words

I’m afraid that I’m
susceptible to forgive you
when you don’t even
deserve forgiveness
asking you what you
wanna do tell me
what you gonna do
when it shouldn’t even
be a choice that you’re
allowed to make I’m
just tired of say’in
what I won’t do

© she
July 20, 2017

WILLINGLY

I went from an 18 year  narcissistic abuse marriage which I was finally free of. Then guess what happened? I fled  straight into the loving arms another one awaiting my weakened heart. 

I tried to have boundries at first, but this new person treated me so unlike the first and gave me the love my first narcissist never had. I was so charmed by them that I was blinded by love. 
Well, anyway the second narc , of course wore a mask. But, by then I was in love. Head over hills. I’m ashamed and embarrassed because I’d been one of those advocates for victims of nacissistic abuse, but I just allowed myself to fall. Have any of you done this as well? Allow yourself to WILLINGLY fall regardless of what you already knew because you fell in love too soon?

WAITING


WAITING

I sit in silence
waiting for you
to think of me

Hoping that
when you do

your’e calling
to let me know
that you were

and to reassure
me that I am
even a thought
on your mind

I wait for the ring
But there is none

© she
June 26, 2017

ON YOUR MIND


ON YOUR MIND

I need to be
thought about daily
Because I think of
you daily That
thought needs to be
acted on Whether
it be a phone
call a text or an
email Any form will
do I don’t ask for much
But a simple
“I love you”
Not an out of sight
Out of mind
relationship

Words & Image
© she
June 23, 2017