WAITING


WAITING

I sit in silence
waiting for you
to think of me

Hoping that
when you do

your’e calling
to let me know
that you were

and to reassure
me that I am
even a thought
on your mind

I wait for the ring
But there is none

© she
June 26, 2017

ON YOUR MIND


ON YOUR MIND

I need to be
thought about daily
Because I think of
you daily That
thought needs to be
acted on Whether
it be a phone
call a text or an
email Any form will
do I don’t ask for much
But a simple
“I love you”
Not an out of sight
Out of mind
relationship

Words & Image
© she
June 23, 2017

I LOOK DOWN


I LOOK DOWN

(an introspective poem)

I look down
on my feelings
from a cloud
high up above

I see a woman
still drowning
and in great need
of real love

She feels bitter
powerless
doubtful
and fatigued

If only I could
make her believe
the one who’s always
been here
was me

To make her brave
Give her confidence
To love herself
and to shine

But instead
I sit here swinging
on this billowy
cloud of mine

© she
February 26, 2016

WHAT LEFT BEHIND


WHAT’S LEFT BEHIND

This hurt
This anger
This woman
That you see

This is the result
of how another man
treated me

I didn’t ask
to be cracked
or bent
or torn apart

I didn’t ask
to be broken
or shattered
by a reckless heart

But I am left
to deal with
what’s left behind

A woman wanting love
When her heart
wants to keep
her blind

© she
April 5, 2016
Art by Ken Wong

I WAS JUST …AROUND

I WAS JUST … AROUND

How can you tell me
that you miss me

You don’t miss me
Because when I was
right under your nose
You didn’t enjoy my
presence

I was just … around

How can you tell me
that you love me

You don’t love me
Because when I was
right under your nose
You gave your attention
to something else

I was just … around

You never spoke to me
You spoke to whomever
was on the other end
of the reciever
All day all night
You rarely spoke to me

I was just …. around

You don’t need me
You need social media
You crave attention
that I’m unable to give

A social network
that I will never be
able to complete
with and what I have
to offer will never
be enough attention
for you

I’ll just be … around
And I don’t want that
I don’t want to be neglected
I need love and attention too

And at the end of the day
I’d rather be sad and alone
Than be alone and lonely
in this relationship

So to make it official…
It’s over

© she
June 10, 2017
#socialmediakillingrelationships

http://elitedaily.com/dating/social-media-killing-relationships-breakups-worse/1586556/

THEY’RE THE SAME PERSON


THEY’RE THE SAME PERSON

As we all know
Narcissists come in all shapes,
forms and sizes.

Eighteen years
It took me eighteen years
to leave my Narcissist​ husband
It was hard
but I finally did it

Six months
It’s been six months
no contact
And I’m doing well
I was doing well

UNTIL, I moved back home
To my home state
reluctantly and unfortunately
where my Narcissist mother lives

She’s been roughing me up
Treating me just as worse
Making my briefly peaceful life
A living hell
Chewing me up
Spitting me out

I’ve gone no contact
on her before too,
but out of loneliness
I decided to give her
yet another chance…
BIG MISTAKE

Narcissists are Narcissists,
some of the worst covert
low down dirty,
evil manipulating human
beings

Whether they be a spouse
or a parent
they’re still ruthless people
They’re still practically
THE SAME PERSON
but only in different forms

Since I split
from my narcissist husband,
my Narcissist​ mother
has scooped me up,
chewed me up and
spit me out so many times
in the last six months

WTF!? I’m done!
I’ve had enough.
If she shows up
on my door step
Or calls again
I’m calling the police.

No matter who wears
the mask
It’s still the same person
behind it

© she
July 8, 2017
Artwork by @ shevioletmoon

BACK AT SQUARE ONE


BACK AT SQUARE ONE

I’m so unhappy
I don’t want to be here
I don’t want to be anywhere
I feel so incomplete and
unfulfilled
Placed back at square one
As if my original escape plan
was for nothing
Going from bad to worse
Now back again
It’s a curse
As if I took a twenty-five year hyiatas
Only to reluctantly come back
to this original unhappy destiny

You see
I left Iowa for a reason
I left because I felt trapped
and alone
And now here I am
Back again
Back at square one

© she
June 6, 2017

BLINK

BLINK

If a person changes in an
off-putting way
right after you make the
relationship official
That person really wasn’t
their real selves
But the person you’re seeing
now is
Understand that it was
all an act
Learn to recognize
the differences
Be aware of unacceptable
gradual changes in behaviors
that once wasn’t there

© she
June 6, 2017

TRUE TO MYSELF

TRUE TO MYSELF

Relationships are tough to be in
Some people want you
to make all of these adjustments
to fit their personality
but don’t want to put any effort
into making adjustments
to fit yours

Instead it’s more like
“Hey, go Google and read up
on my horiscope sign
aka my personality type”

The good, the bad and the ugly
But especially the ugly
Then you know what you can
do next?
You can deal with it
Take me or leave me
But don’t expect the same
“respect” in return

But personally the only effort
that I am willing to make
in any relationship
is the effort
to remain true to myself
In the beginning and throughout it
Because it’s tough enough
when someone is constantly trying
to change you

© she
June 2, 2017

BREATHS OF HOPE

BREATHS OF HOPE

The worst torture
is being buried alive

How does one survive
when the heart is crammed
in such a tight space of
darkness

When suffering is the only
food as the heart feeds
and sips on breaths
of hope

Words about survival
wherever we are
in the deep pit

Breaking our nails
is a small pain
to climb to the light

© she
June 1, 2017