OH SO TRIGGERING

OH SO TRIGGERING

These walls are thin
I hear everything
I hear too much
oh so triggering
do I get involved
or do I ignore
Can’t stand to
hear her scream
and then suddenly
fall to the floor
oh so triggering
oh so triggering

© she
October 16, 2016

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NOTE TO SELF: BREAK THE CYCLE

NOTE TO SELF: BREAK THE CYCLE

You know who’s gotta end this right?
YOU do
YOU’VE got to break the cycle
of contacting them
Block them
Don’t contact them
Shit, cut your fucking fingers off
to keep from texting them
Dialing them
or writing them poems
Gouge your eyeballs out
to keep from stalking them
Slice your tonque off to keep from
speaking about them
Remove thier cancerous cells from your
brain so that you can recover
a healtier life again
Stab your own self
in the heart to prevent them
from doing it themselves
Charter a flight to a deserted island
separating yourself from the rest of the
world with no means of communication
as a sort of drug rehabilitation
Whatever you have to do YOU must
break the cycle
or you may as well kill yourself

But ask yourself this first….
Are they really worth any of the
terrible things that you would have to
do to get them off your mind?
And would they do the same for you???

© she
August 7, 2017
#them #him #her #love #heartache

SAY’IN WHAT I WON’T DO

SAY’IN WHAT I WON’T DO

Get outta my head get
off my mind my thoughts
of you are making me
blind to the fact that it
was you who destroyed
me in the first place I’m
start’in to forget why
and what or if I’m
making a mistake

You’re always front’in
on someone but never
think about the damage
you’ve done to me when
sometimes your actions
are so much more than
words

I’m afraid that I’m
susceptible to forgive you
when you don’t even
deserve forgiveness
asking you what you
wanna do tell me
what you gonna do
when it shouldn’t even
be a choice that you’re
allowed to make I’m
just tired of say’in
what I won’t do

© she
July 20, 2017

MY STORY

MY STORY

When I started my blog back in 2015 it wasn’t initially all about poetry and “feelings” it was about how my narcissistic husband abused me (at that time).

I’ve drifted far away from that and I’m kinda upset at myself about it. I’m sort of a people pleaser and I changed what my blog was about beacause it appeared that people didn’t seem to accept, handle or turned a blind eye to what I was going through.

Over the past few years as I read other dear friends blogs (or who I’d call a dear friend) I admire thier guts for devulging some of the most deepest and most personal heartfelt realities. And I’m upset at myself for having chosen not to do the same anymore.

I need to share and explain what is happening behind the scenes of the poetry that I write because each poem has a story that drove me to write it in the first place, do you feel me?

I gotta be me y’all. Accept my story (and write poems as well) without judgement…
Thank you all 

© she
July 8, 2017

MASKED FACE


MASKED FACE

I’ve built these walls
around myself
to cover
my masked face
I bow my head
in humility
which has always
kept me in one place
Never moving
forward never moving
back wishing I had
the confidence I’ve
known I’ve always
lacked

words and art
by © she
2017

WAITING


WAITING

I sit in silence
waiting for you
to think of me

Hoping that
when you do

your’e calling
to let me know
that you were

and to reassure
me that I am
even a thought
on your mind

I wait for the ring
But there is none

© she
June 26, 2017